Lil Watchit – “Road Safety”

This is a song about road safety I make for Lil Watch it & Watch It Kids. I really think this will encourage kids to do the right thing in the way checking for cars before crosseing the steets.
(Be pateint because loding my take a few seconds.)

Download Lil Watchit f/ DJ BF – Road Safety

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Black Sheeps Are Still hear

Like I told you. Loud talking, drinking crying, hitting and crying.No peace with Uncle Joe and Ant Missy around and guess what I probly won’t make my deadline tomorrow. Even worst is that my iBook is totaly broken. Stupid uncle Joe.
Last nihgt, Joe invited bunch of his old slummy freinds that he used to drink with whens he lived here. Mind you that Carol and I live in a 850 sqare footed, 2 bedroom place. so it’s like 11 peop le in my place and all drinking (of corspe). Well dum uncle Joe had to loudly and awquardly fit his famuos question into the group disgustion…

Joe- “You know how i like my beers?”
Bum freind- “How’s that?”
Joe- “Like I like my violents…domestic”

Then dum Joe folowed his tarded joke up with “Now go get me a beer womand or I’ll…” then he drunkedly shook his fist at Missy. She went and got his beer as usual. Then poored it in his lap and quickly broke the bottle over his head as usual. All those drunk bums ran out of the hous e and uncle Joe bagan crying as usuals.
The only thing unusual and unforchunate is that my some of the beer, bottles shards and a little blood got into the keybord of my iBook. I was fuming but I was always taught to respect my eldars so me being a good sothern genelman I said nothing and quitely and quictly grabbed my computar and rushed it to my room. It wouldn’t come on at all. Forchunatly I backed up everytihng but still have nothing to work on in the mean time. Even this I had to write from Xiscos PC
So for now I have a Bondi blue G3 iBook that smell like Pabst that’s onlys good as a coastar now. Hopefully I can find someone in Lowell or Bentonville with a Mac with Adobes to finish my work. KISS has never been more impotant than becas I realy think this acount is importatn if I ever wan to hire someone to help me with Fantom Advertising Group. Wish me well.

Meeting a Nasa Agent

At art Directors meeting in Kansas City last month I met a freelance graphics designer guy named Wilton. He told me that he’s from the island of Nasa near the Behamus. I asked him if everyone talked Jamaycan like him at Nasa. Wilton lookd confuosed about that and stated that he didn’t speak Jamaycan but a locel nadive dilect of english. I then asked Wilton how many rockets do tehy have over at Nasa now days and if he-had ever flying on one before. He said, “No I’m from Nasa, not Nasa.” I said “Yeah that’s same thing I just said.” Wilton got frustrated and said in his Jamaycan-English dilect “No Nasa, Behamus. It’s the capital of my coutry in the Caribeein” I said, “Oh I see. Sorry fo r the confushion.”
I didn’t pursh anymore quetsions on hims becos I’m sure he was wired and coudn’t say more with out being intruoble with his Nasa commanders. I wonder what his mission and real purpose for being at art directors meetting was?

Sole-mate

I rember wen I was in the vo-tech and taking graphics designs classes I mint a girl named Amber Jones. She was awesome and I new I loved her first at site.
Everytime I passed by her I’d say “Hi Amber” and she’d say “Hi” back. It was different the way she looked at me when saying it no other boys got that same looke.
Unforchunly, we parted ways afrter gradiation. I hope we can meet again some day becos I think she not only could be the one but is my sole-mate.
So if anyone happens to find her tell her to send an email to brandfantom@yahoo.com cos my cell phone is broke now. Also if I happen to be dating someone elts by then and you see this story remind me to take the post dawn so I don’t get in trouble with my new sole-mate.

Thanks,
BF

Childhood- Hauser the Bully

I remember wen I was  a kid grouwing up in the neybor-hood at age 9 there were a group of guys I used to hang out with and play baseball and Heman with. We always had lots of fun. Of corspe we did have the ocashional fite but always made up.

Well one day this new kid  fat moved in named Pete “Round” Hauser. He seamed cool at first but really upset the ballance in our little group very quick and it started becos of a joke he pulled on me.

I came outside to play afer shcool one day to play with the guys as usuwill. And there was this nonfamilar guy round-faced looking at me like I was the new one. He said “Hi my name is Pete. Who are you?” I was like, “Eddy” cos that’s who I used to go buy when I was kid and a boy. He then told me he had a joke for me and then porceeded to tell this infamus joke of torment.

Pete- “Knock, knock”
Me- “Who’s there?”
Pete- “Frajil”
Me- “Frajil who?”
Pete- “Frajil Package”

Then Hauser kicked me in the crotch.

Boy that hurt. It aslo made me feel halpless cos he was way bigger than me so I couldn’t fite him. The worser thing was it didn’t stop there he told new jokes every time I came out side to play. And they all ended in the same punch line or in this case kick line.

Aventuly I took that hurt out on peole in my family by lashing out with a sowred atitude. My dad notices this and says “Boy you’ve been crotchety lately.” I figured he used that word cos he got the memo abot me getting kicked in the crotch constanly. I didn’t find out till English vocab that crotchety mint to be irratbable in genral not just when some-one like Hauser kicks you in the crotch and makes you angry alot.

Anyways, Hauser got hauled off to juvy 2 years later and we never really heard from hims agian. Xisco told me though that recently Hauser tried to pull this same joke on some guy  at the paper mill he worked at in Missipippi and got charged with assalt and  senshual harrassement. So he’s may-be get  locked away for for a cople years. That’s probly the first time  Hauserd ever gots kicked by his own joke.

2pac Drawing

2pac throwing up West-sides.

2pac throwing up West-sides.

I remeber back in vo-tech there was this guy named Tyreke. He was like the coolest guy at owr school and one of the only Africand- American guys at school. I wanted to get in good with him so we coud chill together so i put on baggy cloths, had my niebor Amy brade my hair in corned-rows and drew this picture of 2pac.
The next day I ran into Tyreke in the cafrateria and said, “What’s up son. Here goes a piture I drew. I been meaning to roll over and give it to you for a minute”. He gave me a differnt look and stared at my picture and says ” Oh, this is that 2pac guy. Someone was talking bout him on NPR last week.” He then mentioned some other stuff and asked me if I was tryign to make a living as an artist. After that he pushed his eyebows together confusdly and asked som e unrealated question about “How the heck do you eat?” The only asnwer I coud think to say was “One bite at a time I guess.” Weird. I mean the food wasn’t great in the cafrateria but it wasn’t uneatble ether. I still don’t know what part of left-feld that quesion came from.
I let Tyreke keep the picture since it looked like he  liked it but I didn’t really hang with him much after taht. Not cos he was africand-american but cos we had differnet lives. He listend to NPR , partied his hair on the right side, dresed kind of preppy cloths and frankly aksed weird personal questions abut other peoples digestive systems. On the other hands, I listend to 2pac, wore brades and sagged in the latest urbane fashons like Tommy, Mosimo and Natical. I just don’t think a close freind-ship was in the cards for us.